My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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