hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
