i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize