My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's no shave November. This is our time.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
