my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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