have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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