I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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