mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
