the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Your cock deserves a montage
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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