dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
