He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
