Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
