you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
