doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I stole a fireplace last night.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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