So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize