I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize