my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
