Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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