I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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