marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
