Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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