So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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