is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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