i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This baby is an asshole
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
