I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize