How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
