it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
