dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
