We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
