ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
