I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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