Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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