Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
