She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
