ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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