just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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