Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
