I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Panties = found
Randomize
