The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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