piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
