Can Purell be used as lube?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
