how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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