I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
