Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The best revenge is premature balding
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
