not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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