i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
