He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
