I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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