even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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