I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
