my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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