Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
