Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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