She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
