she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
