I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize