forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
