I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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