yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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