Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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