I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
