When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So here I am, sexting at work.
PANTIES FOUND
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