just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
NoShamevember. You game?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
