@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
