Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
