How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
