the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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