someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize