I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Randomize
