His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
