Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
