I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
