Quick, to the slutcave!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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