So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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