Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
