ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
