doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
