Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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