I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
