my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
