It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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