Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
