..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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