i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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